Failure

Failure, something we all hate but want to face but I am no know it all who is saying that they are important and all that shit, I hate them, I always had a fear and had an anxiety disorder if I was not preparing for my exams because I feared failures, but now it hit me, a failure beyond my imagination and you know, the worst part was not the failure but my teachers who without asking what my problem was started doubting my hard work and that was the last thing I wanted to hears, funny enough even my parents do not see my hard work. But somehow I gathered up all the energy I had left for another round of those papers, though my marks improved considerably they still weren’t much, I got put down by my teachers once again, I also hated seeing other people saying that we get good marks and shit once we started going on a walk but the shit that they do not realize is my anxiety does not let me do that. After that, I did not have much left in me and now my marks dropped again mainly because the last term was so fast and I wasn’t able to keep up, I had so much planned and wasn’t able to do anything. I am sure my teachers are gonna ridicule me even more now and if anything I am confirming their doubts on me, I just wish that people just appreciated once that though things may not have worked out for me I give you everything I have and then every day I go to my room depressed, it takes a shit load of time to gain the courage to even study after all that, I sometimes feel that failure is not a good thing, it just slaps the world on your face.